: number of working days left for me at LCSS.

Now that the countdown has begun (even before I realized it), everything seems to have a tinge of sadness or nostalgia in it. Even climbing the four storeys in the morning. And smiling at the coffeeshop boy who's head always sticks out around that time.

I guess, saying goodbye is never really easy, unless you really hate the person or something. I've started saying goodbye to my kids.

Me: "will you miss me ornot"
Him: "no (smiling). I got my toy parrot with me!"

Today said bye to 3 more. And the stare of disbelief they give you when you tell them "this is the last time I'll be seeing you" is just.... i don't know. I guess they just take for granted that you'll be coming again and again. Especially if you've been regular for the past 2 years. One said he wanted a Popeye colouring printout the next time I came.

Kinda sad I guess, saying a goodbye that will most likely be permanent, knowing you might never see them again, or have the chance to speak into their lives again.

But there's no looking back, and I trust that what is ahead is where God wants me to be, for the next season.

For now, it's about finishing up the outcome evaluations, wrapping up nicely, saying goodbye to the kids one by one, and thanking their caregivers for their cooperation.

Bows out.

2 different stars

yesterday was starstruck day. but by two very, very different stars.

i wasn't expecting much from the jacelyn tay one when i went. but i really enjoyed listening to her testimony, because she really spoke from her heart and you could tell she wasn't pretending. at least, i choose not to think she's pretending although she's an actress and all.

but the part that struck me most about her was this: her humility. perks of being a keyboardist onstage is you get an aerial view of things. she was praying for a woman at the altar, and they were both standing next to each other. but halfway through her prayer, she suddenly disappeared from my sight, right in front of me. i was a bit puzzled, so i tip-toed to look over the partition that was probably blocking my view, and what i saw left an indelible memory, probably for years to come.

she was as close to the floor as she could be. as close to the woman's feet as she could be. her face was almost touching that woman's feet, as she was praying for healing over them. and awhile later, she stood up, her face all red, talked to the woman, and down she went again.

and i was just, blown away.

what would make someone like her go all the way down? perhaps in her heart she was already a very humble person. but to physically be at that level towards a total stranger? i was just. i don't know. speechless. and she looked passionate in prayer. and loving towards those she prayed for. if i could, i would've taken a picture of that sight. not for anything else, but to remind me how much more love i need for people, how much more humbled i need to be. but i didn't, cos i was playing and i didn't wanna make it look like i was some paparazzi or something. but that sight was life-changing, for me.


and this is her praying for another woman.

i totally wasn't expecting it, but at shinee's concert, they suddenly sang amazing grace. and i was moved and my eyes welled up. because right at a kpop concert, God reminded me that this was me eating the fruit of my labor (i went for free). that me being there was a gift from Him. the seats we got were the closest to the stage we've ever been. and well when God gives, He gives the best no doubt.



"i was lost. but now, am found". and just this last sentence spoke volumes to me.


i'll be signing on the line this thursday. it was supposed to be weds, but somehow HR suddenly couldn't make it on weds and changed it to thursday. what a birthday present to me. haha.

God, You found me.